Meeting the Family
by Dariusj401
Summary: Jason takes Harley to meet the Family. A humorous encounter ensues between the female clown and the supposed family. Whoever that is. One Shot. Set a few days after The Talk.


"Where are we going J?"

"To meet the family. Whoever that is."

Jason rode his motorcycle down the Gotham City streets with Harley hanging on to him tightly. Bruce had told him where the new batcave was. He kept driving until he reached the woody area.

"J! Why is this taking so long?" Harley asked, clearly impatient. He scowled under his helmet.

"We're almost there. Hold on." He rode out, eventually reaching the end of the woods. He looked at saw that there was a big lake with a house at the end. The water starts to part and shows a pathway.

"There's our way. I guess." He drives full speed into the pathway and down into the tunnel. He comes out, stopping in the batcave. Bruce and Diana turned and look to see Jason and Harley. Jason and Harley got off their bikes and walked over to them.

Jason whistled as he looked around. "I love the new modern look. It's about time you got with the times." Harley looked around, grinning. "This is what the batcave looks like. I can't believe I'm actually in it!"

Bruce stood up and walked over to them.. "Yes, now that you're here, you will not tell anyone about the location or that you even saw this. Understand?" He glared at Harley. Harley shrunk behind Jason. "Yeah...I got it."

Jason noticed Diana sitting down at the computer. "Well damn Bruce. You got her in the cave? It must be serious." He laughed. Bruce shot him a glare, ready to defend himself. Diana walked over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"I see you have some personal business to take care of. I'll go talk to Curry." She said. Bruce visibly calmed from her touch. "If he said no to me, how do you know he'll say yes to you?"

Diana smiled. "We have some things in common. Maybe I'll appeal to him better than you." She smiled and turned to walk away.

"I'll see you in the morning Bruce." She walked to the elevator as Alfred was coming down it. He stepped off and nodded at Diana.

"Ms. Prince. Leaving so soon?" He asked. Diana smiled at the older gentleman. "Alfred, I've been here since 6 in the morning."

Alfred smiled. "I know. It's just that Bruce hasn't had a woman in the cave since Ms. Selina Kyle. It's good to see him happy again. Smiling." Diana made a mental note to ask Bruce about this Selina woman.

"I'll be back in the morning Alfred. I promise." She smiled and walked onto the elevator. The elevator took her up to the top floor as Alfred made his way over to Bruce, Jason and Harley. He stopped when he saw Jason.

"...My...God. Jason? Is that really you?" Alfred was nearly driven to tears. Jason looked at him, old memories flooding back to him.

"Yeah. Yeah it's me Alfred." He replied. Alfred walked over to Jason and hugged him tightly.

"I don't even know how or why, but frankly I don't care. It's good to see you again Master Todd." Alfred looked over Jason's shoulder and saw Harley Quinn. "Why is...Harley Quinn with you sir?"

Jason looked back at her and smirked.

"Oh. I'm in charge of keeping an eye on her. That also means that she lives with me." He said. Alfred released his hold on Jason.

"That's….rather odd." Alfred said, tilting his head a bit. Harley looked at him and smiled.

"So you're the butler guy I've heard about." Harley extended her hand. "Harley Quinn, nice to meet ya." Alfred gently shook her hand.

Bruce coughed. "She's also his girlfriend." Alfred looked at Jason with a slight expression of shock. "You two...are together?" Harley smiled and wrapper arms around Jason's shoulders. "That's right. He's way better than mistah J. He's rough at all the right times…" Bruce rolled his eyes and walked back to his computer. "It's wrong." Bruce said as he sat back down.

"Oh come on Bruce. Like you didn't go out with a criminal. Hell, you went out with two criminals." Bruce turned around to see Dick Grayson standing by the elevator. Alfred, Jason and Harley all walked over.

"Master Grayson. Good to see you again. How long has it been?" Alfred asked. He gave Dick a tight hug. Dick returned it and smiled. "About a year, give or take a few months." He looked over and saw Jason and Harley.

"Speak of the devil." He walked over to Jason and stood across from him. "Bruce told me that you were alive. I just had to see it to believe it." They stood there, looking at each other before Dick enveloped him in a hug. After a few seconds, Jason pushed him off.

"Damn it Dick, you know I'm not a hugger." He laughed. Dick laughed as well. "Jason, the last time I saw you….you were a kid. Well, 16, but still a kid. You look the same, but different. If that makes any sense."

Jason looked at Dick, who was in the Nightwing costume, minus the mask. "I see you've made some tactical upgrades to the suit. The bird thing is a little bigger too." Jason looked at Bruce. "What's this I hear about dating criminals? The only one I knew of was Talia and that's because she told me after I was resurrected."

Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose. Harley looked at Dick and smiled. She reached up and pinched his cheeks. "Aww, bird brain grew all up. I remember you too, you were the first one." Dick slapped her hand away. "Yeah and the best one. No offense Jason."

Jason shrugged. "I don't care." Dick looked at the two of them. "So, Harley Quinn and the Red Hood. Pretty cool name by the 'd that happen?" Dick asked. Harley prepared to give her side of the story before Jason cut her off.

"I joined Amanda Waller's little group to help get Joker. Afterwards she told me to keep Quinn in check. She lives with me now. How'd we go about getting together? Look at her. That's why."

Bruce held back a smirk as he watched the reunion. Jason looked at Bruce. "But, what I'm more interested in, is this other criminal that Bruce used to date."

Bruce sighed. "Selina Kyle. Also known as Catwoman." Harley gasped over dramatically. "You and kitty cat? Together? Well, she did always go on and on about how sexy you were. I never understood it."

Jason took out his phone. "Let me look up this Catwoman chick on Google." After a few seconds his face lit up. "Damn Bruce. Well I guess it's a proper trade off."

Dick looked amused as Bruce sighed. "What are you talking about?"

"You left a sexy criminal for a sexy superhero. I give you props Bruce." Jason said. Dick raised his hand in realization.

"Oh that's right! You and Wonder Woman, right? I saw a couple of those issues in the papers."

Alfred tried his best to change the subject before Bruce popped a blood vessel. "So, who's hungry for a snack?"

Bruce growled and looked at Dick. "Dick Grayson. I swear on my life that I will-"

Tim Drake came off of the elevator and ran over to everyone. "Hey guys! Whoa." He stopped when he saw Jason and Harley. Jason raised an eyebrow as he saw the R on his chest. He looked back at Bruce.

"Is this my replacement?" Bruce detected a bit of venom in his voice. Things fell quiet for almost a minute before Harley broke the silence.

"What is with you and having little boys as sidekicks Batsy?"

Tim glared at her. "I'm not a kid. I'm 16, you clown freak." Harley stepped up to him, ready to smack him before Jason caught her hand.

"So what's your name kid?" Jason asked him. Tim looked at him, still unsure of the stranger.

"I don't trust you." Tim said bluntly. Jason practically snorted. "Geez, look around kid. Batman and Nightwing both have their masks off. They obviously trust me. Now, what's your name?"

Tim looked at Bruce and Dick for reassurance. They both nodded. "I'm Tim Drake. The 3rd Robin. Who are you, a wannabe Nightwing?"

Dick looked at Tim. "No." He and Jason said in unison. Jason bent down to Tim's level and looked in his eyes.

"I'm Jason Todd. The 2nd Robin. Though I go by Red Hood now. " At the mention of his name, Tim's eyes lit up.

" ."

"Way."

Tim backed up. "But you died. Mr Bruce has your old suit upstairs. How are you alive?"

"Good question." Dick said. "How are you alive?"

The familiar sound of the wheels of a wheelchair was heard as Barbara Gordon wheeled over to them, from the elevator.

"The important question is why you didn't tell anyone until now."

Harley held her own head. "Oh no, don't tell me. She's a Robin too?"

Barbara laughed. "No Harley. I was Batgirl though. Which is something I wouldn't tell you unless I trusted you. Which I don't. I trust Jason."

Jason looked at her. "Okay now, how the hell are you alive? Tell me no one else knew about this." He looked at Dick, Bruce and Alfred. All 3 shifted their eyes away from the 2nd Robin.

"The bullet paralyzed me, it didn't kill me." Barbara explained.

"So I went to a funeral, practically crying my eyes out, over nothing." Jason asked.

Dick shrugged his shoulders. "To be fair, you did the same thing to us."

"No that was different. My body was there during the funeral and after. Talia just came and swapped it." Jason said.

Barbara looked at Harley. "So when did you and Jason happen? I thought he would've hated your guts for your involvement in….."

Harley looked down for a second, before smiling again. "He's...forgiving."

Dick chuckled. "By that way, isn't that a big age gap?" Tim made a face. "You're into cougars? That's cool and disgusting at the same time."

"Hey." Harley said in defense. "I'm only older than him by 3 years."

Bruce did some calculations in his head. "Which means that you were 19 when Joker killed him."

Harley nodded her head slowly. Dick made some calculations of his own. "Wait a minute, how old is Joker now? Bruce you're 42 right?"

Bruce nodded. Dick made some more calculations. "Joker is at least older than you by 5 years. That makes him 47. Jason you're…."

"..21."

Tim cut in before Dick could continue. "If Harley Quinn is 3 years older, that makes her 23. Which means….that the Joker is her sugar daddy!"

Harley scowled at him. "Was. You little shit. Jason, I'm tired, take me home. Meet and greet time is over for me."

Jason rolled his eyes. "Fine. Let's go." He grabbed her by the arm and turned to leave.

Alfred fixed his glasses. "Are you sure you don't want any of my famous chocolate chip cookies. They used to be your favorite."

Jason turned back around. "The cookies? Really? You still make those?"

Alfred smiled and waved him over. "Follow me Master Todd." Jason followed Alfred to the elevator. Harley followed after him.

"I want cookies too!"

Bruce and Dick exchanged looks.

"You think things will go back to normal?" Dick asked. Bruce slightly smiled.

"Not with Quinn around."


End file.
